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Why True Love is Expansive and Not Possessive

Updated: Apr 29, 2020

Love is not about possessing another. Love will make you feel so free you can fly. Love is growth. Love embraces who you are as individuals, with the knowing that together you create star dust. I have been possessed by another in love before. It’s suffocating. It’s closed. It’s restrictive. It only reveals the other person's incapability of loving, declaring them as immature, lacking growth and ultimately highlighting their insecurities and fear of love. True love, however true love is not possession. True love is expansive, it is open and it spans infinite lifetimes.

“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.” - Monica Drake

When you meet that soulmate or spiritual partner you will know it because you will have a strong internal feeling of contentment. It will not be busy or over-zealous; it will be patient and kind. It will give you the power to soar. To chase dreams, build bridges, and make changes. It will inspire you to be better every day.

A day won’t pass without them caring for you. Thinking of you. Loving you.

It will be the greatest journey of your life. An adventure you cannot prepare for. You will learn as the journey unfolds what is required. You will grow into the space.

It has taken many years for me to grow into this way of thinking. I used to believe love could be measured by how big your engagement ring was or the number of text messages you received in a day.

I used to think possessive behavior was love. I used to think it was normal. That my partner checking up on me was sweet. That being attached by the hip was romantic. I now see how full of fear these actions were.

Love is the highest vibration there is. Fear is the lowest.

These two vibrations cannot be present at the same time. Therefore, relationships can only be based on two things:

  1. A negative vibration of fear, or,

  2. A positive vibration of true expansive pure love.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon

All of the qualities assigned to love are positive for they are the true essence of love and provide that elevated feeling that is sought far and wide. Fear is full of negative emotions... this is not how we want to be loving. We may have lacked love from our parents or never been shown true love by a partner, but it is up to us to change.

Love is our natural state of being. It is time we begin to embrace our true nature and step away from possession, from fear, and into joy, freedom, expansion, and true love.

When you have the choice… which you do, always chose love over fear.

To learn more sign up for Your Greatest Love Story Yet a free 10-day course on Love.

With love & gratitude,


Note: This article was written for The Universe Talks and was published on 14 August 2018 via

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