How are you?
One of the most asked questions throughout our day.
It certainly offers an opportunity to use our voice.
But does it provoke an honest response?
Or have we been conditioned to only reply with:
I'm fine, or, I'm good.
Inauthenticity breeds inauthenticity. Authenticity breeds authenticity.
If you reply inauthentically with a standard response, the chances are you will only be met there.
Why do we not speak our truth?
There are many reasons why:
It may not feel safe to do so
You may feel afraid of the consequences
Uncomfortable with being vulnerable
Fear of being hurt
Fear of the other persons response/ reaction
Not speaking up may seem like the simplest thing to do to avoid confrontation or conflict however, when you do not speak up and own your voice this manifests in the following ways:
De-valuing yourself, ideas and ultimately your sense of self-worth.
Saying yes to meet others needs.
An inability to say no or set boundaries.
Feeling a lack of safety when expressing yourself.
Feeling unheard or seen.
Being unnecessarily apologetic.
Always being the go to person, the giver or caretaker in relationships, or the person with a full plate from too many responsibilities at work.
The more we move outside of our comfort zones and speak honestly, the more we will hear what others really have to say too.
If you were waiting for permission, here it is, now is the time to speak your truth.
The next time someone asks you how you are, maybe you will reply, I'm feeling a little sad and I'm working through it, or, I'm a little tired today, and excited for a good nights rest, or, I am feeling super stressed and need a hot bath.
“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~ Barbara De Angelis
Initially this may lead you to speak up in small seemingly insignificant ways, however today's decisions are ultimately creating your future.
When someone asks your preference, tell them the truth. If you really pay attention, you’ll find that your daily life is full of opportunities.
Start to honor your preferences, no matter how small or inconsequential.
With love & gratitude,
Fabienne