“Without forgiveness and love, you will live with resentment, bitterness, malice and strife which result in more pain. You can never love without forgiving. Forgiveness deepens your ability to love and frees you from pain.”- Kemi Sogunle
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness involves engaging with a complex series of emotions – anger, pain, frustration, and fear – which most of us try to avoid.
When someone really hurts you, you may question whether you want to forgive someone; it may, in fact, seem utterly unnatural. But there are many reasons why it's sometimes better to forgive and forget, even if part of you doesn't want to.
Forgiveness doesn't condone their actions.
Forgiveness is not for other people.
Forgiveness is a sign of strength.
Forgiveness creates healing.
Self-forgiveness is also necessary.
When must I forgive?
Whenever you have been hurt or wronged.
It may sometimes be someone very close to us. It may be literally within our own family. Forgiveness is always painful, especially when we have been hurt by someone who is close to us or someone whom we love, or someone who loves us.
I've never yet met anyone, especially someone who has a rich deep love, who hasn't gone through some suffering - especially in the realm of relationships. That is sometimes why some of us do not get our relationships sorted out. Because it is too painful, and it hurts too much. And so its easier to keep at a distance - to avoid that person; its easier to get angry or bitter or resentful; it is very painful to sort out wrong relationships.
How can we practice forgiveness?
Burn the list of hurts.
Make sure you are not holding anyone in the prison of your unforgiveness.
Whether it was your fault or his/her fault, you go, you take the first step, you put it right. Always take the initiative.
"And do it before the sun goes down", says the Bible (Eph. 4:26).
We should learn maybe to be angry. Yes, it is sometimes right to be angry, but don't let the sun go down on your anger.
With love & gratitude,
Fabienne